Speech Utopia

 

Hate speech isn’t free speech. Bigoted speech is rightly deemed a crime. Those who engage in it should be fined and jailed. And they should be banned from social media. No-one should be allowed to say anything that might offend minorities such as Negroes, Latinx, birthing persons, gaylords, chicks with dicks, BIPOCers, and LGBTQIAFK+KNT-FG=SKMBGs. Free speech is fine in theory, but not when someone may not like or agree with it.

We all need to thank the wonderful Mainstream Social Media, such as Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram for censoring any speech, and banning any speakers, which certain marginalized and targeted groups might find unpleasant. The internet’s cancellation of ideas and persons which some minorities might object to is to be commended.

I, for one, am very sensitive to, and triggered by, any comments which others may make which I could construe to be critical of my perceived social identity group or intellectual views. Thank the goddess that Mainstream Social Media censors such comments and commentators! Whenever I imagine that some person or remark may be opposed to certain aspects of my group, opinions, or lived experiences, I immediately fall into a panic, and curl up into the fetal position, while I burst into tears, and cry out for my mommy. Then I instantly retreat to my special safe space where I compulsively make molds with Play-Doh, fill in my coloring books, squeeze a warm puppy, drink hot chocolate, and suckle my caretaker’s bosom.

After only a few days of comforting, soothing, cooing, and nipple-sucking, I boldly emerge from my hidey-hole to bravely and heroically face the evil unwoke world. But thank the birthing person deity I don’t have to experience these limitless horrors every day, due to the strict censorship and banishment policies of the Mainstream Social Media!